| I've really changed a lot in the past 4 months. Shoot! I've changed a lot in the past week for that matter. It took a long time for me to get to where I'm at today. I can honestly say that I know what joy feels like. For so long I've searched for happiness with my life. One day I heard this quote: "Happiness is a temporary emotional feeling. Joy, on the other hand, is a deep, abiding confidence that God is in control, no matter what happens." Not saying that this quote made a dramatic change in my life the day I heard it but it made sense. For so long I've been searching for the wrong thing. I've learned how important it is to trust in God in all areas of my life. I can't just let Him have a little bit while I struggle to control the rest. It's the full reliance that I really need to experience joy. I'm not saying I no longer have bad days but I can say I'm truly joyful. I've realized the mistakes that I've made and God has forgiven me so much faster and easier than I can forgive myself. It really does take time to get over things and realize that life goes on. "I have learned that pain has purpose, which, at the peak of excruciating discomfort brings me little consolation. Hindsight, though, has often proven pain's value. In fact, I have found pain to be one of life's most effective teachers. It takes lessons down to the bottom line." -Patsy Clairmont Why is that now that things are going great in my life it's time for some major changes to happen? "There's no denying that obedience doesn't always come easy. We all undergo testing, trials, and temptations. These are opportunities for us to prove the steadfastness of our love." I'm changing for the better. I want to be more open about my mistakes and not hide who I am. Honestly, from these experiences it really shapes who I am today. I don't know what's going to happen in my life. I don't know where I'll be in a year from now but I'm ok with that. I'm ready to wait to see what's going to happen instead of living in fear. "But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."-Isaiah 40:31 |
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| I feel like my time here has come to an end... |
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| This weekend my whole family was under the same roof for the first time in a long time. It was nice. I think our house shrunk though... |
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| Right now I hate being a girl! |
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| After reading my last few entries I realized that all I do is write out my random thoughts as they come. It's hard moving back home after you've lived on your own for 4 years. I like the way the rain makes my hair look. Tomorrow is going to be different. |
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